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Do you hear the people go 'meh'

Mom and Tess and I went and saw Les Miserables last night. I was... whelmed. I'd say that I need to see it again to figure out how I feel about it, but I'm not blowing another ten bucks on it in the theater and I'll fall asleep if I try to watch it at home on DVD. So, here are my thoughts.

First, let me say that this musical is my favorite musical of all time, ever ever ever, and I have been waiting what seems like my entire life to see it on the big screen. My expectations were astronomically high, so I guess I was set up for disappointment. I was expecting something along the lines of Chicago, where they took a good stage show and made it into a movie, not a movie of a stage show, if that makes any sense. It was like watching the 25th anniversary special with slightly better costumes. I'd say it had better sets than an anniversary show, but frankly, you couldn't really see the sets with all the intense facial closeups they were doing, so they might as well not have been there. Note on the closeups during ever freaking song- it was boring as fuck. Seriously. I was staring at the ceiling half the time to rest my eyes because visually, I wasn't missing anything. And since most of the movie was filmed this way...ugh. What were they thinking?

The casting was good, basically- Hugh Jackman is an amazing Jean Valjean, and I loved Colm Wilkinson as the bishop. Anne Hathaway was amazing, but when isn't she? I loved how she got progressively sicker- her makeup artist did a fantastic job, too.

Russell Crowe. Oh, Russell. He would have been great playing Javert in the movie. He sucked as Javert in the musical. Well, he didn't suck. He sounded like someone from Panic in the Disco doing a cover of a couple of Javert's songs. His singing was entirely too pretty, and I just wasn't buying the badass cop thing.

WHY DID THEY PICK WHAT'S HIS NAME FOR MARIUS I MEAN NOT ONLY DO YOU LOOK LIKE A BIZARRE CHARICATURE OF A HUMAN BEING YOU SING LIKE MARVIN THE MARTIAN, I MEAN CUT YOUR NOSE OFF YOUR FACE SO YOU CAN DO THE WORLD THE FAVOR OF NOT SINGING THROUGH IT WHILE YOU MOON AROUND AFTER COSETTE WITH YOUR WEIRD FISH EYES.

Cosette was good. I liked Seyfried's portrayal, but then, I like her and I like Cosette. Seriously, people need to get over the Cosette hate. She didn't even know that Eponine existed, she just found a dude that she liked and then married him. Whatever.

I really wish Helena Bonham Carter would retire from acting. This was the one role I thought she would be good in, and imo she kind of bombed. Mme. Thenardier is a very in-your-face role, and HBC played her so delicately- it was strange.

Eponine was awesome. Right? When isn't she? But let's just take a second here to ask the question that's been on everyone's mind. IS HER WAIST REALLY THAT SMALL? Is that natural? Is it a corset? I want to put my hands around her waist just to see if I can do it. I'm pretty sure I can do it. I'm going to creep stalk the actress and put my hands around her waist to see if that was real or if it was the magic of the silver screen. By god, that was crazy.

The death scenes were good- Valjean's was amazing. I think that the problem I had was that I wanted this movie to be like the last three minutes (AMAZING WONDERFUL BREATHTAKING THE FEEEEEEEELS) for the entire thing. I wanted to be swept away and I wasn't. As a result, I've got a case of the blues I just can't shake.

Other notes:

I hate Gavroche. In general.

OH HAY LES MIS WHY DON'T YOU FINISH YOUR SONGS SOMETIMES

Boring boring boring OH HELLO RANDOM STREET FULL OF HOT YOUNG MEN. Suddenly this movie got better.

ENJOLRAS x GRANTAIRE = BROMANCE OF THE AGES. Oh my god, seriously. Their death scene was all, "THE SKY IS OUR CANOPY. GOD'S CANOPY. THE SKY." *bullets*

I was looking forward to Master of the House, since it's a fun song. It wasn't fun. It was gross.

Was it really necessary to add the spine breakage to Javert's death scene? Why couldn't he just have made a big splash? Then the entire theater wouldn't have been all D:

.

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