I want to go blonde.


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Badly.

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Have a headache. So do not need it right now.

More importantly, I can't focus on my studying. I have three finals tomorrow:

- a paper to present for Latin (just got my article a couple of hours ago. Damn you, Interlibrary Loan. If you had just processed my fucking request when I asked you to instead of dicking around, I would have had this done by now, and I wouldn't have to worry about it.)

- seven pages of Cicero's Philippic to study for a translation test

- and my Byzantine Art and Architecture final.

Managing to keep my attention on any of this? Impossible, as it turns out. Schoolwork fail.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckedy fuck fuck.

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Finished my term paper and poured myself into bed at three thirty this morning. Woo.

Made it through last weekend's CEMERS conference with only minor scratches. Mostly minor.

Made it through the play the weekend before that only flubbing my lines once. Joy. Triumph. I look like an idiot in a helmet, which I suppose was my job, but still.

Found a new apartment which we'll be moving into at the end of May. I'll be staying in Binger over the summer, after all.

Still to do:

~ get my work together to show Karen for my IS
~ Cicero oral report
~ comedy video presentation

...all of which have to be done this weekend.

And laundry.

Need more sleep before thinking about anything else.

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I need to put together the playlist for my life, which has been... odd... lately.

I am in despair. This no good, rotten, lousy world has me in despair!

mmmMeh.

FYI, neither I nor anyone I know is dead or taken hostage.

It's weird though cause this whole thing is going down like two miles away from my house... I'm watching Binger on CNN. That is so. strange.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/04/03/binghamton.shooting/index.html

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Latin: have to read a bunch of stuff, translate a bunch of stuff, work on my speech presentation.

Ancient Comedy: collect costumes and props, make the sedan thing, make the backstage sail. Also need to finish and hand in my midterm. Like, today.

Byzantine Art: have a test on Thursday. Need to study. Need to actually get some answers right this time.

12th. C. Silk: have most of my sources together. Have to go pick up two more, read and annotate two, and then I'm good to start writing my paper. I think. Hoo boy.

Household: is weird. We rent from J's uncle, who, apparently, thinks it's okay to go through the house when we're not there, since they're family or something? Obviously, this is a problem. Must stop. I mean, what if someone's in the shower? What if someone's having sex on the living room floor? What if it's the summer, and it's really hot, and I'm walking around naked like I'm wont to do in the summer when it's hot and I'm home alone? What if he walks in on an underwear party? OMG OMG.

Headaches: hurt. Annoy me. Make me want to hurt things. The neurologist moved my appointment from the end of the month to tomorrow. Yay? I don't see what good it will do.

Cranky. Hormonal. Hungry. Tired. Tired because I was up till 2 doing work. Angry because J wouldn't go to sleep. He's more tired than I am. Tried to sleep in my own room; attempt was sabotaged. Slept in his. Angry at myself because I move around and talk in my sleep which wakes him up which makes him tired and he's getting over pneumonia and mono and meningitis and everything else and needs his sleep but he won't sleep without me and I keep him awake and I get upset because then I feel bad because he feels bad and it's all my fault.

(Do I get some sort of prize for that run-on sentence?)

Mehhhhhhhhh.

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I have a Latin test in an hour and I have no pen.

I have a notebook, a laptop, a dictionary, a book of letters and one of speeches, J's half-finished Christmas present, a My Little Pony, a hairstick, several gem cutting tools, an awl, a case of CD's, keys to my parents' house, four empty Skittles bags, my ballet midterm from last semester, and a wad of glue that I confiscated from Quinn and couldn't get out of my bag after that.

But no pen.

Goddammit.

On the bright side, my hair looks all right today.

Fuck.

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First: Happy Belated Birthday Zoichan!!!! I will call you soon, I promise.

(Have to call Lise too. Can't forget, phone calls. Soon as I'm out of this maze of Latin. A pox on your melodramatic ass, Cicero.)

Second: Did some backtracking on some dates. Conclusion: I understand the raised eyebrows now. On paper, I guess I did move kind of fast. Except really I didn't. Huh. 11/10= Boondock Saints. Huh.

Third: Must learn lines. Dammit.

Aw, hell. This entry makes no sense. Gotta go do work anyway. Meh meh meh.

(Still need ship names. I'm going to start drabbling my life. Cause it'll be funny.

I think I need more sleep.)

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I went to the neurologist this morning. Got pegged with migraines due to the headache-is-occasionally on one side issue. The doctor wrote me a prescription for beta blockers and I'm going back in six weeks. Had to wear a stupid gown for no apparent reason.

Pretty sure it's not migraines since the one-side thing has only been happening for the past month or so. Plus no real light or sound sensitivity.

Whatever. All I have to do is get over the fact that I'm going to deal with headaches forever. Well, maybe not forever; hopefully the world will end in 2012, so I'll only have to deal with this stupid shit for, what, three more years?

I'm just sick of them cause nothing helps and it makes life miserable.

Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I hate my head.

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I need a name for this ship. Actually, I need names for all she ships in my life, cause that's just how I think.

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I just found my favorite commercial EVER from when I was a kid on Youtube.

Youtube has totally been letting me relive my childhood lately... it's a blast.

...aaaaand I'm going back to grownupland to do work now. Swear to god.


(for the curious:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2ePbkiSKPY)

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Didn't get into the Critical Language Program. This isn't exactly unexpected, but I'm still a little bit bummed about it. Childhood dreams and all that jazz. Oh well.

I'll be over it by tomorrow.

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Long story short: the headaches never went away. They just got weirder. But! Lo and behold! I discover that I have insurance. I knew I had it before, it's required if you live in the dorms, but I thought it just covered the school's ass if I fell on the steps and broke my leg, that sort of thing. I moved off campus this semester, and I figured that when I canceled my housing they'd cancel my insurance. Wrong-o. So I go to get it canceled and they guy is like, "Are you sure you want to do that?" Well dur, I was about to say. Then I stopped. "What am I actually covered for?" I asked him.

Liek everything omg.

I kept the insurance and made an appointment to see the doctor yesterday. He didn't give me a prescription for nose spray and tell me I had a cold! He sent me for a CT scan and set me up an appointment with a neurologist. I'm hoping I can finally figure out what's going on; if I can't stop the headaches, I want to at least know what it is I'm dealing with.

(I CAN SEE MY BRAIN FROM HERE. BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS.)

More on this later, obviously. Haven't got the report on the scan back and it's not the 17th yet. However, here lies a problem. The 17th is St. Patrick's Day. My appt. is at 9:30 am. I am totally going to have to rearrange my drinking schedule.

Or maybe just show up drunk?

"BITCH IS HAVIN' A STROKE!!!"
"No, bitch had one too many Irish coffees."



J went with me and kept me sane. Which was awesome because I'm still a big baby when it comes to doctors. Hate them. Heart him. Probably the only doctor I'll ever trust.

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Gave up Facebook for Lent.

Have to run to a test now. In the meantime, oogle my delicious icon.

Spent a good chunk of last night in the ER with J, due to the leg thing. Which may or may not be a blood clot. Meaning, it probably is, but the bloodwork came back negative and there's no swelling or streaking, which means it's all in his head, here's some tylenol with codine now go be a good little boy and get some sleep.

However, the doctor was grossly incompetent, so who knows. "You clearly don't have pneumonia, so don't finish the antibiotics they put you on earlier today. People with pneumonia have fever, chills, sluggishness, and a cough. You don't have any of those things," he said to J, who looked at him blearily, coughed, and shivered with a chill that he felt in spite of his 101 degree fever.

Doctors = fucking retarded.

Annnnyway.

Still working out opera details. Zomg, I wish I was in Sadexcuse so I could organize the whole thing properly. This remote shit is a pain in the ass- I have no idea why people think it's so great to work from home. Verily it doth sucketh.

Gonna watch Last of the Mohicans with Cat tonight- I wish Rory was here. It's not the same without him, now.

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WAKE UP DAMN YOU.

I DIDN'T GET TO SLEEP AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU

I'M GOING TO PLAY THE TWILIGHT SOUNDTRACK SO LOUD IN YOUR EARS IN A MINUTE THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE SHITTING SPARKLES FOR A MONTH

AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Seriously, this is NOT fair, and the last time something like this happened I messed up the guest room bed and he got in all kinds of trouble so he SHOULD HAVE LEARNED.

BOYS ARE SO STUPID.

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I need to calm down. This habit of getting into knock down, drag out imaginary fights with anyone I can think of has got my all riled up over nothing. Literally nothing. I'm desperate for a fight and there's no reason to throw a punch.

Okay, well, maybe there is. But still.

AAARRRRRGH.

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I have spent every second since I set foot in Syracuse with a splitting headache. I already spent one night throwing up from it, but last night was the worst. I haven't had a bad one like that in years. I threw up every time I moved (note: puking grilled cheese is bizzare) so needless to say I missed out on decorating the tree, going to church, opening my first present, and all the fun Christmas Eve stuff we normally do. I finally passed out around 2; woke up at 4, and lo and behold, no headache! Alas. Went to the bathroom and it was all over. Then I got pissed and took 3 sudafed and 6 ibuprofen, puked again, and finally fell asleep around four. I may have overdosed slightly, but by God, that headache was dead.

Spent most of today being tired and sluggish. I got a Chevy hat, a crock pot, awesome jewelry, and a mug from the Cloisters. Andy came over for dinner and the Chinese food was awesome as always.

I got absolutely nothing accomplished. Didn't work on XXX or Christie's embroideries.

Had weird text convos with J. This is nothing new; it's just annoying cause he dropped a bombshell question, I dropped a bombshell answer, and he stopped responding. Now I have to sit here and calm myself down. His phone died. He fell asleep. He went out with friends. He was not, contrary to my imagination, kidnapped by angry mobsters, aliens, driven off a bridge and drowned, nor did he elope with his ex to Vegas.

Although, with him? Who knows. Arrrrrrgh.

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Merry Belated Christmas everybody!!!

Although, to be honest, this is probably the easiest finals week I've had ever. I only had one actual final (O&E) since Professor S decided we didn't need one for Latin and Arabic, well, Arabic. What to say about that. He gave us a take home final, with instructions to mail it or turn it in sometime this week. I checked the grade site on Monday morning, hoping that the ballet grades would be in, and what do I see? One grade entered. Arabic. A-.

I'm still laughing about that.

Now I'm down to my last thing, which is the overhaul of the O&E paper, which is due to be emailed in today. I haven't really looked at it. I'll probably fuck around with it when we go back to campus, which should be soonish.

To sum up:

Arabic: A- with a side of lulz
Ballet: A- with a side of AWESOME COMMENTS ON MY FINAL PAPER OMG.
Latin: A- with a hint of having to work harder next semester.
O&E: projected: C.

Also I made tons of cookies last night, to give out to Barb and the lunch ladies and various campus people I love.

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